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Envelope-to: oyetunde.folarin@rcm.edu.ng
Delivery-date: Mon, 30 Oct 2023 01:31:32 -0400
From: Oluwatoyin Ajilore-Chukwuemeka <hellotoyinajilore@gmail.com>
To: Oluwaseun Folarin <oyetunde.folarin@rcm.edu.ng>
Subject: On Dead Words
Sender: noreply@sp.eocampaign1.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:30:44 +0000
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DEAR OLUWASEUN,=0D=0A=0D=0AHow are you this week=3F=0D=0A=0D=0AMy message t=
o you today is a little long, but it would be worth every=0D=0Abit of your =
time. Read on.=C2=A0=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0AIt was a closed-group meeting earlier=
 this year. My mentor led us to=0D=0Apray a prayer that went something like=
 this:=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0A_=E2=80=9CAsk the Lord to deliver you from dead wor=
ds. That you will not=0D=0Acontinue to labour under the sting of dead words=
.=E2=80=9D_=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0AThat prayer grabbed my heart. First, because =
it made another Scripture=0D=0AI had always said to myself make better sens=
e, and second, because I=0D=0Awanted to understand it better. It was the fi=
rst time anyone had ever=0D=0Aled me to pray like that. For the next couple=
 of months, I would=0D=0Ameditate over that Scripture again and again and a=
gain. I did=0D=0Aunderstand it better with time, but there was a day I had =
an epiphany=0D=0Aabout it. I was praying about something that was bothering=
 me, and the=0D=0ALord showed me that one of the major reasons that issue w=
as bothering=0D=0Ame in the first place was linked to a statement that a fr=
iend made=0D=0Aover 10 years ago. Oluwaseun, did I hear you say "What=3F" T=
hat was=0D=0Aexactly how I felt. But I have learned not to argue with God w=
hen he=0D=0Areveals things like this, even when it is not so clear yet. So,=
 I=0D=0Acontinued in prayer, asking Him to explain better. Eventually, I sa=
w=0D=0Ait. It was true.=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0AIn 2012 or 2013 (I cannot even rem=
ember the exact year), a friend whom=0D=0AI held dearly jokingly said somet=
hing. To be honest, he was talking=0D=0Aabout his preferences, although it =
was also sort of directed at me=0D=0Abecause of the specific context of tha=
t time. Just one statement. One=0D=0Astatement I eventually realised that I=
 never forgot 10 years later.=0D=0AThe fact that I never forgot it, even th=
ough I have completely=0D=0Aforgotten the surrounding conversation, was one=
 of the evidences God=0D=0Agave me. For 10 years, I had unconsciously labou=
red to look like what=0D=0Amy friend said he preferred, not realizing the l=
evel of impact his=0D=0Awords had on me. What I was bothered about and pray=
ing for that day=0D=0Awas because I was not living up to the extremely unne=
cessary standard=0D=0Athis person=E2=80=99s words had created in my mind ov=
er 10 years ago. It was=0D=0Aso subtle that its existence escaped my consci=
ousness. There is a good=0D=0Achance that he cannot remember ever saying th=
at. In fact, what he has=0D=0Alearned about how the world works in the last=
 10 years might make him=0D=0Ano longer hold that preference. But here I wa=
s, still unconsciously=0D=0Aholding onto it. Then I remembered my mentor=E2=
=80=99s prayer, and it made=0D=0Aall the more sense! In fact, I felt like t=
hat day was a major example=0D=0Aof God answering that prayer for me.=0D=0A=
=0D=0AOluwaseun, I don=E2=80=99t think I need to remind you that words are=
=0D=0Apowerful. You likely already know that. What I rather want you to pay=
=0D=0Aattention to is the need to guard your heart against dead words. Dead=
=0D=0Awords don't always have to be negative. I think of them as words that=
=0D=0Adeprive your soul of rest and edification. Words that will lead you o=
n=0D=0Athe journey that God did not send you, even when they sound=0D=0Ains=
pirational. Words that will make you never quite settled, always=0D=0Atryin=
g to prove something. Words that will agitate you out of the rest=0D=0AGod =
gives His beloved.=C2=A0=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0ABy guard your heart, I mean 2 thi=
ngs. First is the need to protect=0D=0Ayour hearing space by intentionally =
staying in=0D=0Acommunities/relationships that don=E2=80=99t deal with dead=
 words. For=0D=0Aexample, why would you continue to keep CLOSE friends whos=
e words are=0D=0Aalways to MALICIOUSLY cut you down=3F By now, if you have =
read some of=0D=0Amy past emails and my book, Driven [https://sptr.eocampai=
gn1.com/f/a/YaD_ewhLVz2OBs25WOCRew~~/AAAHUQA~/RgRnIcSEP0QcaHR0cHM6Ly9saW5rd=
HIuZWUvZHJpdmVuYm9va1cFc3BjZXVCCmU8hD8_ZSv1acVSG295ZXR1bmRlLmZvbGFyaW5AcmNt=
LmVkdS5uZ1gEAABKnA~~], you=0D=0Ashould have learned that loving someone is =
different from giving them=0D=0Aaccess to the soul. It is your responsibili=
ty to guard the access to=0D=0Athe core of your person and ensure that only=
 the things that=0D=0Astrengthen you and make you better are given priority=
. This doesn=E2=80=99t=0D=0Amean keeping only =E2=80=9CYes-men=E2=80=9D as=
 friends. You need friends who will=0D=0Acall your bluff if necessary, but =
the keyword earlier is malicious. I=0D=0Aalready explained that in a previo=
us mail.=C2=A0=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0AThe second part is born from the reality th=
at you are in a fallen=0D=0Aworld. That means even great people around you =
might unintentionally=0D=0Abe agents of dead words sometimes. I hate to bre=
ak it to you that you=0D=0Aprobably have been an agent of dead words to som=
eone else too. Also,=0D=0Asome people are around you who, not by choice but=
 by circumstance, can=0D=0Abe agents of dead words. e.g., a mean boss who a=
lways undermines you=0D=0Aand dishonours your journey. Add that to how soci=
al media causes a=0D=0Aproliferation of dead words, with people sharing ext=
remely contextual=0D=0Apoints of view and generalizing them as a standard. =
You see why you=0D=0Awill need to leave the world to completely stay away f=
rom the=0D=0Apossibility of encountering dead words. So how do you guard yo=
urself,=0D=0Athen=3F I will leave that for you to think about. I will leave=
 you with=0D=0Athis one thing, though:=0D=0A=C2=A0=0D=0AAlways expose yours=
elf to God=E2=80=99s cleansing power. If you are a=0D=0Abeliever, you shoul=
d pray my mentor=E2=80=99s prayer over yourself as often=0D=0Aas you can. M=
ay you not labour under the sting of dead words,=0D=0AOluwaseun.=0D=0A=C2=
=A0=0D=0A_Love always,=0D=0AOluwatoyin._=0D=0A=0D=0A =09=09 [linkedin socia=
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[website social link] [https://sptr.eocampaign1.com/f/a/Ks-jTX4-a9dtqCCCHeY=
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~] =0D=0A=0D=0A_If this is your first time receiving an email from me, Welc=
ome to my=0D=0Amailing community! You are here because you interacted with =
me through=0D=0Aany of my offerings or speaking engagements. _=0D=0A_____Th=
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cing=3D"0" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5=
px;" eo-row=3D"one-column" bgcolor=3D"" width=3D"100%">=0D=0A              =
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r" style=3D"padding: 0 15px 15px;" eo-block-container=3D"">=0D=0A          =
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sentation" cellspacing=3D"0" cellpadding=3D"0" border=3D"0" align=3D"center=
" width=3D"100%" eo-block=3D"title" bgcolor=3D"">=0D=0A                    =
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        <td width=3D"100%" style=3D"text-decoration: none; padding-top: 5px=
; padding-bottom: 15px;" class=3D"container text-block"><h1 style=3D"margin=
-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; font-size: 26px; line-height: 1; text-align:=
 justify; color: rgb(49, 54, 56);">Dear Oluwaseun,</h1></td>=0D=0A         =
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</tbody>=0D=0A                                                             =
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              =0D=0A                                                       =
             <table role=3D"presentation" cellspacing=3D"0" cellpadding=3D"=
0" border=3D"0" align=3D"center" width=3D"100%" eo-block=3D"text" bgcolor=
=3D"" style=3D"margin-top: 7px; margin-bottom: 9px;">=0D=0A                =
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=0A                                                                        =
            <div class=3D"text-block" style=3D"color: rgb(49, 54, 56); line=
-height: 150%;"><div data-offset-key=3D"danv0-0-0" style=3D"padding: 0px; m=
argin: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; position: relative; white-space: pre=
-wrap; direction: ltr; text-align: justify;"><span style=3D"font-size: 18px=
; font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;">How are=
 you this week=3F<br></span></div><div style=3D"text-align: justify;"><span=
 style=3D"font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span sty=
le=3D"font-size: 18px;"><br></span></span></div><div data-offset-key=3D"dan=
v0-0-0" style=3D"padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; posi=
tion: relative; white-space: pre-wrap; direction: ltr; text-align: justify;=
"><span style=3D"font-size: 18px; font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times =
New Roman&quot;, serif;">My message to you today is a little long, but it w=
ould be worth every bit of your time. Read on.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>It was a =
closed-group meeting earlier this year. My mentor led us to pray a prayer t=
hat went something like this:<br>&nbsp;<br><span data-preserver-spaces=3D"t=
rue" style=3D"color: rgb(14, 16, 26); background: transparent; margin-top:0=
pt; margin-bottom:0pt;"><em>=E2=80=9CAsk the Lord to deliver you from dead =
words. That you will not continue to labour under the sting of dead words.=
=E2=80=9D</em></span><br>&nbsp;<br>That prayer grabbed my heart. First, bec=
ause it made another Scripture I had always said to myself make better sens=
e, and second, because I wanted to understand it better. It was the first t=
ime anyone had ever led me to pray like that. For the next couple of months=
, I would meditate over that Scripture again and again and again. I did und=
erstand it better with time, but there was a day I had an epiphany about it=
. I was praying about something that was bothering me, and the Lord showed=
 me that one of the major reasons that issue was bothering me in the first =
place was linked to a statement that a friend made over 10 years ago. Oluwa=
seun, did I hear you say "What=3F" That was exactly how I felt. But I have =
learned not to argue with God when he reveals things like this, even when i=
t is not so clear yet. So, I continued in prayer, asking Him to explain bet=
ter. Eventually, I saw it. It was true.<br>&nbsp;<br>In 2012 or 2013 (I can=
not even remember the exact year), a friend whom I held dearly jokingly sai=
d something. To be honest, he was talking about his preferences, although i=
t was also sort of directed at me because of the specific context of that t=
ime. Just one statement. One statement I eventually realised that I never f=
orgot 10 years later. The fact that I never forgot it, even though I have c=
ompletely forgotten the surrounding conversation, was one of the evidences =
God gave me. For 10 years, I had unconsciously laboured to look like what m=
y friend said he preferred, not realizing the level of impact his words had=
 on me. What I was bothered about and praying for that day was because I wa=
s not living up to the extremely unnecessary standard this person=E2=80=99s=
 words had created in my mind over 10 years ago. It was so subtle that its =
existence escaped my consciousness. There is a good chance that he cannot r=
emember ever saying that. In fact, what he has learned about how the world =
works in the last 10 years might make him no longer hold that preference. B=
ut here I was, still unconsciously holding onto it. Then I remembered my me=
ntor=E2=80=99s prayer, and it made all the more sense! In fact, I felt like=
 that day was a major example of God answering that prayer for me.<br><br>O=
luwaseun, I don=E2=80=99t think I need to remind you that words are powerfu=
l. You likely already know that. What I rather want you to pay attention to=
 is the need to guard your heart against dead words. Dead words don't alway=
s have to be negative. I think of them as words that deprive your soul of r=
est and edification. Words that will lead you on the journey that God did n=
ot send you, even when they sound inspirational. Words that will make you n=
ever quite settled, always trying to prove something. Words that will agita=
te you out of the rest God gives His beloved.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>By guard y=
our heart, I mean 2 things. First is the need to protect your hearing space=
 by intentionally staying in communities/relationships that don=E2=80=99t d=
eal with dead words. For example, why would you continue to keep CLOSE frie=
nds whose words are always to MALICIOUSLY cut you down=3F By now, if you ha=
ve read some of my past emails and my book, <span class=3D"eo-link-wrapper"=
 style=3D"color: rgb(251, 160, 38);"><a href=3D"https://sptr.eocampaign1.co=
m/f/a/F_fGaW1EB4ORS22Yt-ECKQ~~/AAAHUQA~/RgRnIcSEP0UgMTg3MmM1YThmYjQ2OWJhYjI=
0NjMyMjYxNjVkOTc5YjlEHGh0dHBzOi8vbGlua3RyLmVlL2RyaXZlbmJvb2tXBXNwY2V1QgplPI=
Q_P2Ur9WnFUhtveWV0dW5kZS5mb2xhcmluQHJjbS5lZHUubmdYBAAASpw~" rel=3D"noopener=
 noreferrer" style=3D"color: inherit;" target=3D"_blank">Driven</a></span><=
span data-preserver-spaces=3D"true" style=3D"color: rgb(14, 16, 26); backgr=
ound: transparent; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt;">,</span> you should =
have learned that loving someone is different from giving them access to th=
e soul. It is your responsibility to guard the access to the core of your p=
erson and ensure that only the things that strengthen you and make you bett=
er are given priority. This doesn=E2=80=99t mean keeping only =E2=80=9CYes-=
men=E2=80=9D as friends. You need friends who will call your bluff if neces=
sary, but the keyword earlier is malicious. I already explained that in a p=
revious mail.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>The second part is born from the reality t=
hat you are in a fallen world. That means even great people around you migh=
t unintentionally be agents of dead words sometimes. I hate to break it to =
you that you probably have been an agent of dead words to someone else too.=
 Also, some people are around you who, not by choice but by circumstance, c=
an be agents of dead words. e.g., a mean boss who always undermines you and=
 dishonours your journey. Add that to how social media causes a proliferati=
on of dead words, with people sharing extremely contextual points of view a=
nd generalizing them as a standard. You see why you will need to leave the =
world to completely stay away from the possibility of encountering dead wor=
ds. So how do you guard yourself, then=3F I will leave that for you to thin=
k about. I will leave you with this one thing, though:<br>&nbsp;<br>Always =
expose yourself to God=E2=80=99s cleansing power. If you are a believer, yo=
u should pray my mentor=E2=80=99s prayer over yourself as often as you can.=
 May you not labour under the sting of dead words, Oluwaseun.</span><br>&nb=
sp;<span style=3D"font-size: 18px;"><span style=3D"font-family: Georgia, Ti=
mes, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span data-text=3D"true" style=3D"padding: =
0px; margin: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px;"><br></span><em style=3D"box-s=
izing: border-box; text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style=3D"box-sizing: bord=
er-box; text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: rgb(250, 197, 28);"><stro=
ng><span style=3D"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Love always,<br style=3D"box-sizing=
: border-box; text-size-adjust: 100%;">Oluwatoyin.</span></strong></span></=
em></span></span><strong><br></strong></div></div>=0D=0A                   =
                                                             </td>=0D=0A   =
                                                                         </=
tr>=0D=0A                                                                  =
      </tbody>=0D=0A                                                       =
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icubic;" height=3D"48" width=3D"48" alt=3D"linkedin social link">=0D=0A    =
</a>=0D=0A</td><td class=3D"social-link-container" align=3D"center" valign=
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xt-decoration: none; -ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;" height=3D"48" width=
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e: bicubic;" height=3D"48" width=3D"48" alt=3D"twitter social link">=0D=0A =
   </a>=0D=0A</td><td class=3D"social-link-container" align=3D"center" vali=
gn=3D"middle" width=3D"48" style=3D"padding: 5px;">=0D=0A    <a href=3D"htt=
ps://sptr.eocampaign1.com/f/a/g0a48Cn9N-aNCF8afcmEcg~~/AAAHUQA~/RgRnIcSEP0U=
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48" alt=3D"facebook social link">=0D=0A    </a>=0D=0A</td><td class=3D"soci=
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nk">=0D=0A        <img src=3D"https://gallery.eocampaign1.com/tentacles/ico=
ns/v1/social-block/rounded-website.png" style=3D"display: block; border: 0;=
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  </a>=0D=0A</td></tr>=0D=0A                    </tbody>=0D=0A             =
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er" style=3D"padding-top: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px;">=0D=0A              =
  <div class=3D"text-block"><div style=3D"text-align: center;"><em><span st=
yle=3D"font-size: 14px; font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&=
quot;, serif;">If this is your first time receiving an email from me, Welco=
me to my mailing community! You are here because you interacted with me thr=
ough any of my offerings or speaking engagements. </span></em></div><div st=
yle=3D"text-align: center;"><em></em><em><span style=3D"font-size: 14px; fo=
nt-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;"></span></em=
><em><span style=3D"font-size: 14px; font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Tim=
es New Roman&quot;, serif;">This is&nbsp;<strong>In-Sights&nbsp;</strong>ma=
iling community where I share my weekly insights (pun intended). Here, I sh=
are my meditations to call you to take a closer, longer, and deeper look at=
 everyday events so we can draw out wisdom for living. I am sure you are go=
ing to love it here! Expect my emails on Mondays, all things being equal. A=
nd yes, I love replies!</span></em></div><div style=3D"text-align: center;"=
><span style=3D"font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><sp=
an style=3D"font-size: 14px;"><em><span style=3D"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><em>=
You can invite your friends to subscribe to the mailing list by sharing thi=
s link with them:&nbsp;</em></span><a href=3D"https://sptr.eocampaign1.com/=
f/a/4myszXnOl3ipmjlCYKUMBw~~/AAAHUQA~/RgRnIcSEP0UgODI4YWJmMDQ2ZmFhOGJlMjE1Y=
2ZjMTU5ZTI2ZTBiMjdEGGh0dHBzOi8vYml0Lmx5L0luX1NpZ2h0c1cFc3BjZXVCCmU8hD8_ZSv1=
acVSG295ZXR1bmRlLmZvbGFyaW5AcmNtLmVkdS5uZ1gEAABKnA~~" rel=3D"noopener noref=
errer" target=3D"_blank"><em><span style=3D"color: rgb(218, 165, 32);">bit.=
ly/In_Sight</span></em></a><em><br><br>You can also find both free and paid=
 copies of my books</em></em></span><span style=3D"font-size: 14px; color: =
rgb(251, 160, 38);"><em><em> </em></em></span></span><span style=3D"color: =
rgb(250, 197, 28);"><span class=3D"eo-link-wrapper" style=3D"font-family: G=
eorgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-size: 14px;"><a hre=
f=3D"https://sptr.eocampaign1.com/f/a/Yy1o56Ixg6er1bKDwYpquw~~/AAAHUQA~/RgR=
nIcSEP0UgMDJiMGU4NTg1ZDEyOGIwZWJhNjU5N2Q1MTY2NDFlYTdEHGh0dHBzOi8vYml0Lmx5L2=
Jvb2tzX2J5X29hY19XBXNwY2V1QgplPIQ_P2Ur9WnFUhtveWV0dW5kZS5mb2xhcmluQHJjbS5lZ=
HUubmdYBAAASpw~" rel=3D"noopener noreferrer" target=3D"_blank"><em><em><str=
ong>here</strong></em></em></a></span></span><span style=3D"font-family: Ge=
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